My Transformation from the Inside Out
Each and every one of us has a story. Our perspective is powerful. What is even more astounding is the choice to turn pain to purpose. There are many things we are proud of, and some that we are not so proud of. In any given moment, we have the ability to transform.
You can make different choices in your faith, wellness, community, business and travel. I've learned transformation from the inside out lasts. When you rewrite and rewire your beliefs to truth, your feelings, and your actions in every area of life, everything changes.
All you have to do is look around at how many of us gravitate towards misalignment and self-sabotage. Many of us, myself included for years, are like a car with a flat tire, no gas, and in need of an oil change and new breaks.
We are running on fumes - overwhelmingly unhealthy, misaligned to purpose, focused on lack, and without a community. Yet, we do the same thing over and over and expect a different result - the definition of insanity.
My transformation from the inside out started in 2010, and continues day by day. If I transformed from the inside out in every area of life and continue to, so can you.
Transformation Themes of My Life
Fear to Faith, Devaluing to Purity, Self Hate to Love, Corporate to Calling, Lies to Love, Pain to Purpose, and Bondage to Freedom. are the themes of my transformation.
I’ve walked through transformation from spiritual to financial. I will not tell you it has been easy or overnight, because it hasn't. It has taken faith, focus, and a fight. It's choosing to challenge myself to alignment on a day by day basis.
As I have transformed every area of my life focusing on faith, purity, love, calling, purpose and freedom, I have been amazed at what God and I may co-create. My transformation leads me to align to passion to purpose, and then to people and profits.
This includes choosing purity before marriage in 2010, losing >55 lbs 2013-2014 and keeping it off, creating a life and business I love with community, and a focus on freedom. Disclaimer avg person who uses Herbalife loses average of .5 to 1 lb a week with healthy active lifestyle..
The choices I make daily are challenged in these areas on my journey to reaching my full God-Given potential. I am driven by progress in what I call the Seven Steps to Success daily along with my 90 Day Plan. My soul and spirit come alive with freedom in expression, time, location and community.
Photo Credit: Photos by Brock Atlanta
Fear to Faith
As I have focused daily on shifting from fear to faith extensively since 2010 and continue to, it amazes me what I used to accept as normal. What many of us do. Our default is often fear, lack, control, depression, anxiety, and the worst case scenario. Look around at what those choices cause globally.
I made a decision in 2010, I would no longer live in the default, or anything close to it. One of my favorite scriptures is
1 John 4:18 Perfect Love Drives Out ALL Fear.
What is really interesting is for years I experienced high-highs and low lows. I think many relate.
How about you?
My life is an adventure from the start! I was in over 4 countries by the time I was two. I am conceived in Bulgaria, born in Poland, and lived in a refugee camp in Italy by the time I was 1 years old. We immigrated the USA by the time I was two.
Some of my favorite adventures include scuba diving in Egypt and Jamaica and swimming with dolphins. I love new adventures. I love to expose people to travel and that’s why we host retreats as well.
I challenge myself daily and ask myself am I living in faith or fear? From a practical level, this has involved getting closer to God, spending more time with Him and in His word and in silence. This has involved time in prayer, reading the Bible, church, community groups, Bible studies, worship music, and journaling.
None of this has come over night. I continue to fight the good fight of faith. Yes, I am human. Yes, I feel pain. I may take a moment, ultimately though I heal and push past pain and fear.
A few years ago, I made the choice to see a spiritual counselor as well including EMDR treatment for trauma. Some of you may or may not know, I experienced domestic violence in my late teens to early 20's. I buried the pain for years before I allowed it to come out for the Spirit and myself to work on all the pain,
In 2010, I began to see the beliefs I formed in childhood and my teenage years that were driving many of my self-sabotaging behaviors. Over years, I attended countless events beyond church for my faith focus including silent retreats, Dani Johnson events and more.
In 2019, I felt compelled to start waking up at 5 am regularly, and reading the Bible straight through as part of my routine for the rest of my life. I wrote my first Bible study earlier this year on Fear to Faith: a 40 Day Devotional as well. My point is it is a process. It requires faith and focus. It is a daily practice to shift from fear to faith.
Every single day, I feel shifts in fear to faith including worthiness, identity and value. I observe what is happening and decide if at that moment, I am feeling pulled to take more action or to give myself more compassion and go to the park, take a walk, or simply cry and release something.
I've found the journey of fear to faith involves forgiving others, forgiving yourself, and trusting God. I find I feel like an onion sometimes with layers to unravel and/or put back together. It's about creating a firm foundation in faith. It is both a daily discipline and a journey of a lifetime.
On my Canon EOS my fellow community leader, Dominique in San Diego at Holbox Island on our Airbnb Adventure.
Devaluing to Purity
When I look back in my life, I see so many ways I devalued myself and allowed others to. If we devalue ourselves or find our value in only the external, it is easy to allow others to devalue us. This impacts you in health, wealth, business, community, and freedom.
I easily see now because I didn't value or see myself as worthy, I ran over myself in every area of life. It is easy to see why I didn't value myself as a lady worthy of being pursued and a deeply loving relationship, why I overworked and found my worth i work, and why I abused my body and was >55 lbs heavier among other examples.
I repeat to myself daily I am statements now out loud alphabetically. I meditate. I go to nature. I eat healthy. I workout 5+ times a week. I go on trips by myself, and so may more ways I show myself love and purify myself from what the world says about us sometimes.
Keep in mind, many in the world will solely judge you on appearance, status, and money. However, when you find your worth in the one who created you, and create from that deep love everything changes. Step by step, as you heal everything transforms from the inside out.
I have learned anything external is temporary, shaky, and meaningless. When I look back how much importance I placed years ago on solely the external, I am amazed. When you deeply value yourself, it translates both into your behaviors and how you treat others and who is in your community.
I am deeply grateful for my own transformation, and our community that feels like friends in so many ways whether on social media, our blog, podcast, courses, events, collabs, and brands.
I believe in speaking life over your life in every area of your life.
The power of life and death is in the tongue those who love it will bear fruit. Proverbs 18:21
I often say things out loud like “I am limitless, I am resilient, and I am priceless. I am leading myself and others to transformation and inspiration”. This came to me during a meditation years ago.
I regularly say "I am rich beyond belief". I also say things like "My work is of high, high service and worthy of massive compensation, which I learned from Amanda Frances.
If I shifted from devaluing to purity, so can you.
It isn’t easy. It is worth it.
Photo Credit: Authentic Photo Designs - Christy, a Community Leader with Airbnb, from Nashville
Self Hate to Love
There are so many ways we may express self hate to ourselves. Our behaviors will often tell us a lot about how we feel about ourselves. As I shared my story earlier, it is easy to see how I didn't love myself.
I didn't feed my spirit or soul with nourishing things. I simply did what I saw many others do. I consumed unhealthy food, drank alcohol excessively way too many times putting myself in real danger, and I allowed myself to be in an abusive relationship as well as other relational self-sabotaging behaviors for years.
I wasn't taught how important it is to love yourself first so you can love others. I find it interesting how clearly it is outlined below about loving God, and loving your neighbor as yourself yet people focus on the love your neighbor part the most.
Hello - how could you or I possibly give something we don't have, know, or understand on our own?
30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a]31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”
Loving yourself means sometimes putting yourself first and not apologizing for it. For example, my mornings are focused on my Sacred 7 - worship music, prayer, Bible Reading, journaling, movement, and a message. I faithfully protect this time now. Years ago, I would wake up and go straight to checking e-mails and getting ready for work. It's no wonder I would be irritated by 9 am.
A part of loving yourself includes how you treat your mind, body, and soul and how you allow others to treat and speak to you. It's choosing things that nourish you in every way. From that space, you cultivate a practice and habit of loving you. It's easier to love others because now you know what that looks and feels like.
I regularly seek wisdom and discernment in situations and in our community. I am very mindful of lack of gratitude, honor, peace, and joy. At the same time, I still choose love with others. Sometimes love leads to creating boundaries and even stepping away.
I check-in with God and myself, and ask for guidance. I am constantly learning this and to release the outcome. I surrender and accept I won't always please people. As a reformed please-o-holic, this sometimes causes me physical pain. I may feel God pruning me from that. It hasn't always been easy to speak and practice "I am not for everyone, we are not for everyone, and everyone isn't for us".
At the same time, being open that sometimes people return and the situation and dynamics have changed. It's an art and science in vulnerability, boundaries, and action.
Corporate to Calling
For years, I found my worth in my work, status, and recognition. It's easy to see looking backward why within my childhood and experiences. It started very early-on and layered into people-pleasing. At the same time, my drive and determination for excellence and service created and cultivated my gifts, talents, and abilities.
Like in the parable of the talents in Matthew, I would double my talents regularly even though I had never read that scripture at that point. Many of us have aligned habits to passion, purpose, people and profits; as well as misaligned beliefs and behaviors. Self-awareness is key and leads to self-reliance and self-discipline.
Experiences in Work and Industries
Early-on, I loved entrepreneurship and service. Whether it was running a lemonade stand business, helping my Grandma at her retail store in Poland, and/or girl scouts, I always loved to create, transform and inspire.
Along the way, like many of us, I misaligned to passion and purpose by focusing on the external. This led to working some places that were completely aligned like an Oncologist in high school, credit union in college, and NBC Apprentice TV Show as a consultant to name a few. In my book, Pain to Purpose coming in 2020, I dive in deep with these areas.
Whether any role I held in >7 industries over the years was completely aligned or not, I always learned new things I added to myself. All along the way, I served in a variety of side-hustles as well. For many years, I massively undervalued myself as well as served from an empty cup.
It's easy to see how my worth and identity was wrapped up in my work. For years, I also was a workaholic to the detriment of everything else. At the same time, loving what you do and having a great work ethic is awesome. I learned my work ethic from my mom and dad. However, when you neglect yourself and every area of life, it speaks volumes to where your worth and identity lie.
I am a big believer that nothing is wasted. t wasn't easy clearing the clutter to create a life and business I love and helping others do the same online and live. The layers I allowed in lack, bondage, and community continue to be transformed to abundance, freedom and a like-minded community.
As I received the vision in 2015 to create an all in 1 lifestyle brand, I realized how much of my past would help me. In addition, I realized how much I get to humble myself all the time to learn new skills in money, marketing and business.
Some of you may or may not know, I am also a Certified Public Accountant. For years, I worked in strategy, operations and finance creating and saving companies six to eight figures annually. At the same time, my own money was in chaos.
I realized my transformation story in wealth, as well as experiences in business, side-hustles, and building a brand would help serve others. I am so passionate about helping people create a life and business they love online and live with experiences, influencers, fundraisers for people, entrepreneurs and brands.
That’s why I created FIT Life Creation. I wanted a community in alignment to create a life and business we love and give back. My vision of integrating health, wealth, biz in 1. Equally as important is our community of creators, as well as our fundraisers, and the brands that integrate in wellness, media, and travel.
I believe there are millions of us that desire to create what they love, and millions that may serve.
It's more important than ever in our world today we rise up.
Through my own transformation, I created how and what I loved in real-life. This involves getting to know myself and growth in freedom of expression, time, location, community and financial. I am proud of how far I have come. At the same time, there are consequences to past choices I am facing as well as fighting for my freedom in all forms.
Lies to Love
In 2010, I began to see how deeply I bought into lies of being unworthy, devalued, and unloveable. There are countless tears I have shed, as well as work I have done and do daily to shift these mindsets.
I shared earlier how this included going to a spiritual therapist twice. What I didn't share earlier, is the first time I went for a year to process the abusive relationship, how I felt about myself, and the lies I believed. So much healing came for that. Around the same time, I made a decision for purity before marriage.
Interestingly enough, none of my vision came to me before I made that choice. I believe our obedience and sacrifice is required to level up. I also believe God has an order for each and every one of us in healing and returning to love. It's not for us to judge anyone else's. We haven't walked in anyone's shoes but our own.
Step by step, I began to rewrite the narrative to love. I increased spending time in God's word. Last year and this year, I invested in The One University with the Miller's as a sort of single premarital class that ties to your passion, purpose and potential. The course helps you fully focus on getting you to wholeness first. I have learned and applied so much from them and everything they teach.
Each morning, I also lovingly say to myself - I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am deeply loved. I am beautiful wonderful child of God. During the day, I pray for my future spouse and our relationship. I say things like I am worthy of being best friends, partners and purpose and passion partners with my love. I also say I am worthy of being pursued.
I recently invested in the Audible - The One - by Katherine Woodward Thomas - and finished it a few days ago. The book is deeply healing and will have you bawl like a baby as well. I share this to let you know this transition is a journey as well. Love yourself and be patient with yourself.
Recognize where you may be seeking something or someone externally they are not meant to fill. It is a totally different story when two fulfilled and whole people come together focused on alignment, purpose, and growth wouldn't you say? I want this type of love - don't you?
In comparison, when I look back on my own journey I can see how i was trying to fill voids that only our Creator and His love can fill to the overflow. This love works with how I love and treat myself. For example, right when I finish this article I am going on a 4+ mile walk to Chastain Park and sitting by the stream.
Holbox Island during Our Airbnb Adventure
Pain to Purpose
I will not lie to you and say any of this was easy at different levels. Life is tied in direct proportion to the vision for your life, and who you.get to become. Every want has a weight. Your purpose has a price to pay. Years ago, when I dimmed my light or shrunk my goals, the price to pay wasn't as big.
Keep in mind, my goals were wrapped up mainly in career and money after college. When my vision shifted, I realized how transformation is required to create a life and business you love. My transformation from the inside out started with faith, sacrifices and obedience.
There was a level of pain. At the same time, I thought certain things would come sooner than they have. God knew if He revealed all to me back then, I would not have lasted. I wasn't strong enough yet. The next level of my transformation came in my health.
Anyone else feel like life is like the 12 grades we go through in school or a Super Mario game?
As I developed self-awareness and self-discipline in my health and habits, and lost >50 lbs more results came in every area of life. I grew and my like-minded community grew. After years of faithfulness and obedience, it is now easy to stay healthy and be alcohol free. In the beginning it was a process. It wasn't easy. I also have coaches for accountability like Team Edge when I compete.
I regularly get into communities and challenges in health with our wellness community in Herbalife, and every area of life to push myself like Boss Babe, Brendon Burchard, Bo Eason, Chalene Johnson, She's Wanderful, and Rachel Hollis to name a few.
A recent book that has helped me massively with pain to purpose is Crushing by TD Jakes. I have listened now 4 times.
The next level of my transformation involved massive transformation in money from creating to giving. It has helped me develop the 6 Pack of Wealth, Money Maker, and serve others in numerous ways.
During this transformation, I have taken courses like Financial Peace with Dave Ramsey, Dani Johnson, and mentorship from Buckhead Church. I lead a Financial Peace class as well virtually to increase my own accountability.
In these examples, I have experienced a ton of revelation and transformation. The process is painful. Consider a caterpillar going into a cocoon and the fight it endures to develop its wings so it can fly as a butterfly. We are no different. Did you know if you stop the process in the cocoon the butterfly won't be able to fly?
Our vision is like when women become pregnant, then they become full of the promise, and then the final stage in the process is the most painful before the promise arrives. Makes sense right?
It is painful. I will not downplay it all. Emotional pain may be just as, if not more so, painful than physical pain. You will face fears and yourself in ways you never imagined. Parts of you will die so who you are originally intended to become will live. Who you are created to be is paramount for the people you will lead.
Leadership is a responsibility and a privilege. It is not easy helping others in transformation.
What I have found is that if you are willing to endure the pain in every way, you receive the promise. Promise yourself you will not quit on your path to purpose.
You choose to turn pain to purpose to people to profits. I promise it's worth who you become.
Bondage to Freedom
In 2019, my word for the year was freedom. You may imagine how many fears or layers of bondage came to the surface for me to face. It is amazing what lies we allow and the behaviors that lead us to bondage.
I realized layers of beliefs and behaviors in my expression, community, time, location and finances. I am proud of myself for overcoming and unleashing many parts of myself online and live. At the same time, I challenge myself to level up daily in every way in my fight for freedom.
5 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
I constantly ask myself the following questions:
How and where may I express myself more freely?
Who or what is potentially limiting my expression?
What am I doing to address it or step away from it?
How am I using my time? Do I feel free in doing so?
Am I allowing others to control and dictate my time?
Do I take a lot of time for myself to unplug?
Am I speaking up for myself lovingly and asking for clarity?
What evidence do I see of our community growing in alignment?
How do I see abundance, blessings and gratitude in every moment?
What am I doing daily/weekly to free up my time?
I encourage you to challenge yourself, beliefs, and behaviors in every area of your life from spiritual to financial. Look at the fruit and evidence in your life and you will see quickly where your thinking is likely misaligned from truth and freedom. I know I do.
Creating a Life You Love
Transformation from the inside out is for the strong and pure of heart. Fall in love with transformation and inspiration. Fall in love with the vision and your own journey. Celebrate every day who you are becoming.
You, your life, and your story matters. You are meant to love yourself and others. Your journey is incredibly valuable in the service to others.
Face the transformation from the inside out in your own life. You will know what area to focus on step by step.
Keep fighting for your freedom. If you love this post, you will love my 90 Day Plan.
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